Please don't call the ASPCA

This conversation just happened:

Fireboy:  Did you happen to check on the cats' food and water situation today?
Me:  Uh, nope. 
Fireboy:  Hmmm.  Ok.
Me:  Did you?
Fireboy:  Uh. I did in the fact that I looked into their room and they were both on the bed.
Me:  Were they breathing?
Fireboy:  Yep.
Me:  They're still alive.  We're excellent parents.

See also: why we're not parents to tiny humans.  Mainly because you can't just throw food in a bowl and leave them be for 3 days at a time.  The dog is enough to handle, asking to be fed twice a day.

See also also:  why we have no plants. Because they can NEVER tell us when they're hungry.  At least the ones we plant outside in the summer have half a chance that Mother Nature will take pity on them. 

It's Been A While...

I'm sorry. This is not an actual post.  It's just the title of a song by Staind that reminds me that I am long overdue for an actual post.  But seeing as how we're now 2 full weeks into 2013, I didn't want you to think that my New Year's resolution was to leave you hanging. 

Well, maybe it was, but I always break my resolutions so you're in luck.

Or, you will be when I come back and give you something worth reading. 

Which will be soon. Ish. 

The One Where Lauren Wins the Interwebs

I never find myself pining to live anywhere else but where I live.  Ok, maybe a tropical beach would be nice once my wealthy benefactor finds me, but otherwise, I'm pretty ok.   I love it here.  It's my hometown.  It's not a big city, but I can get to one shortly if I desire.  (Or, be forced to go to one every day to earn some dolla bills...)

Anyway.  That's not a topic for today. The only reason I bring it up is that I seriously wish I lived in Chicago this past weekend, if ony to experience the awesomeness that happened yesterday in and around Millenium Park. 

Meet Lauren.  If you haven't clicked her link from the right side of this here blog, then I suggest you clear a few hours and spend some time getting to know her. She's always good for a story, and I can tell you that Fireboy would probably have a lot to sympathize with her husband, Ryan.  (Lauren, I'm debating now referring to AJ as FIREBOY.  It's just so much more effective if italicized and in all caps.)

Sorry, I keep getting distracted, but I promise to not keep you much longer.  Regardless of whether you're familiar with Lauren or not, you need to go read her latest post.

There's no way to not spoil the whole thing completely, but in a nutshell:  Lauren's husband told her that if she got a certain number of likes on Facebook, that he would dress up and walk around Chicago with her, handing out candy canes and spreading Christmas cheer.  And, because she has awesome friends, they joined her, wearing a Gingerbread Man and an Elf costume.

What resulted was pure awesome, and made me want to move closer to her so we could collectively torture enrich our husbands' lives that much more.

So go, click the link and get in the spirit.  I guarantee you that a) you will repeatedly watch the video of the 6' something Gingerbread Man squeal as he runs through a revolving door and b) you will want to be in Chicago next year when this now-annual event occurs.

I know I do!

To My Fairy Godchild on the Day before her 20th birthday

Jenna Rae -

I had begun to type this all out on Facebook but the it was starting to get obnoxiously long, and honestly, where else would be appropriate for obnoxiously long ramblings other than this blog?

Answer: nowhere.

So, my fairy godchild, as you prepare to enter an entirely new decade on this birthday eve, I wanted to share a few words with you before you party it up - as you totally should.

I don't have to tell you that you need to go out there and take life by the horns. You have been doing that since you learned to walk.  I mean, I've never known anyone as fearless (no, Jordan, I'm not making a Taylor Swift reference, we all know my feelings about her).  I haven't, though, ever seen anyone like you, Jenna, on this planet.  

I've always had a distinct feeling that you were put here to do major things, and according to my calculations, you're right on track.  You've already taken Western by storm and the world only has so long left to prepare for what's in store for them when you graduate.  I would tell them to get ready, but it wouldn't do any good. 


I loved my 20s more than any other time in my life.  That decade was life changing for me. Literally.  I found the love of my life.  I got married. I got far enough away from high school and the mentality that every little thing was a cause for major drama.  I did not come out of my 20s with the same circle of friends that I went in.  Some were there, but some had faded away. It was ok though, because I picked up new ones during that decade and they're still with me, almost 20 years later.  Things will change for you drastically over the next 10 years, but a lot will stay the same. The people whom you love and who love you will stay steady as you navigate what life has in store for you.  You, however, will ride this wave with the same grace you show on a daily basis to everyone, especially the creatures with fur with whom you seem to share a soul most times. 

I am so proud of who you are and what you've become to this point, and I can't wait to witness it all for you for the next decade and beyond. (You know, when I'm old and feeble and living in your basement apartment so I can feed the cats while you're on location shooting life-changing documentaries and blockbuster movies?  It's gonna happen.  I don't have any kids so I'm counting on you, ya know??)

I love you, my Fairy Godchild. I'm done rambling.  Go out and have a good time this weekend, and let your subjects lavish adoration, for they know what greatness stands before them.

Happiest of birthdays and all of my love,
Your Fairy Godmother

You can pull my picture off of the side of a milk carton now...

I logged into Blogger approximately 90 minutes ago.  The full intent of logging into Blogger was to once again lure you into thinking I'll keep this blog up and not go missing for months at a time.  I always have the best of intentions when it comes to writing, because if you know me, you know that I have no issues with telling people what's on my mind at any given time.

Shortly after signing in, I decided I needed an online makeover.  I then spent a good 60 of those 90 minutes redesigning the color scheme, which is now borderline cool with shades of "am I reverting a bit much to the colors of my 80's youth" tossed in for good measure.  

One that was complete, I figured I should probably write something.  Because, well, it's obvious I'd been here. I can't get away with a new skin on the blog and no post, so here we are.

I started by clicking my blogroll over there on the right, and noticed that a lot of the last post dates were more than 2 months ago.  Sad.  I really enjoy reading those, and now they've completely left me in the lurch and not put anything up in over 8 weeks.  So I thought I should wax a bit on how my favorite blog authors stopped putting out. 

I know. Irony. It's what's for breakfast.

Not only that blogs were going dead, mind you, but the fact that when people do stop writing, the several rabid trolls fans remain in the comment sections for weeks and months, begging the writer to come back or demanding to know what is more important than staring at the computer.  

People. I'm not sure if I'm glad that you're all not hounding me on a daily basis or sad that you obviously don't love me enough to spam my inbox or comments section when I don't provide a post each day week month quarter.

On the other hand, I'm starting to wonder if it's me.  I mean, there are several blogs that I have enjoyed in the past that have all stopped posting.  I'm not sending them letters, demanding they chain themselves to their keyboards and pound out something on request.  It's just that after a add them to my feed, they seem to stop posting, and I'm starting to take it personal.

Am I a blog-killer?  I mean, I know I've basically lead my own blog to near death several times, but is there something in my server that offends websites and in turn emits a vibe to the author that says "Oh no! Tans likes this! Abort post!! ABORT POST!!!"  I'm starting to think so.

In any event, I hope that those people are off enjoying their lives, and that they'll possibly come back and throw us a bone every now and then.  Until they do, I will continue to search for new ones who entertain but aren't too preachy and possibly have cartoons accompanying them because I have a short attention span and cartoons are never not fun.

Maybe I'll even give them a chance and not link to them, so as to not bring down impending death of yet another blog.  Maybe. 

why, yes, it has...

Move over Hallmark...

Google + has the market cornered on the tear-jerking commercials.

This one:


COME. ON.  Tell me you didn't get a little verklempt.

or This:


Fireboy swears to me that if I ever left him, he'd be super romantical like this and try and win me back.  It's a moot point though, because I'm not leaving him.  Even if he cheated on me, I wouldn't leave him.  

I'd kill him.

Anyway, where were we?  Oh, and this:



I die. If that doesn't make you a little misty eyed, you have no soul.

At first, I thought I was just being hyper-sensitive or had PMS or whatever guys blame that makes chicks cry at commercials.  But then...while watching tv this past weekend, I actually caught FBoy wiping a tear away after seeing the first commercial posted above. 

So it's not just me, although I am normally a sucker for some good advertising.  But bravo, Google+. You not only tugged my heart strings, but you proved that a daddy/daughter relationship, a cute pigtailed little girl and a heartbroken dude can bring even the strongest of firefighting runner dudes to tears.

Well done.